Nimmanhaemin was a blessing. Busy, colourful and buzzing. I was enjoying an early evening stroll, admiring the scene, appreciating the umpteenth Thai smile that had been dazzled in my direction and wondering where I would feast. A tap on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts.
“Excuse me,” said the man I was now facing, “Why do you always smile?”
His accent was undeniably German but despite a careful study of his face, I did not recognise him.
“I have seen you many times and always you are smiling.” It sounded like an accusation.
My old-fashioned English reserve kicked in automatically, hungry for an introduction and, with a smile, I asked him who he was.
“I am Helmut,” he said impatiently, before pressing his ‘smile’ query for the third time.
I shook his hand and gave him my name, “Pleased to meet you,” I said, now uncomfortable with the smile, still playing about the ruby reds.
“Yes,” he said, “But I am seeing you all over Chiang Mai and always you are smiling and always I am thinking why you are so happy.”
His eyes searched my face while I searched my mind for an answer. Was I always smiling? Do people perceive me as an eccentric village idiot, stumbling about with a permanent dopey grin? I was momentarily sidetracked by the appeal of that notion and wondered if I needed a battered old hat, a Panama perhaps, to complete the picture. Helmut was a vision of expectant anticipation and I did not want to disappoint – something that seemed inevitable when I heard my feeble response.
“I suppose it’s because I am happy,” I heard myself say, hopefully.
“Yes but why?”
Helmut was about my age and the single stud earring that glittered in his right lobe told me he was gay. We were causing an obstruction on the narrow pavement outside Wawee Coffee and as this was obviously turning into a philosophical debate, I offered my new chum a cuppa. Once inside, it transpired that he had spotted me in a few of Chiang Mai’s gay bars and out and about, sometimes with my Thai boyfriend (we’ve been together for more than eight years now but I cannot get used to the new fashion that would have me referring to him as ‘my partner’ – it sounds so businesslike!).
It would be disingenuous to pretend that I don’t know why I am happy. I really do count my blessings every day. Like all gay expats here, I chose to live in Chiang Mai. My favourite city, in my favourite country. It gives me a sunshine state of mind. Hence the smile. Helmut seemed happy with that.
James Barnes is editor-in-chief of OUT in Thailand Magazine.
www.out-in-thailand.com